The Twelve Spams of Christmas

It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid, at Christmas time, we let in light and we banish just a little bit of the seriousness most of the articles on spam and phishing tend to exhibit, and instead we decide to just have a laugh at some of the things that challenge us on a daily basis. A day without laughter is a day wasted, so I hope you will get a chuckle or two out of the following.

Sung to the music of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

On the first day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
a mailbox that’s completely spam free.

On the second day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s completely spam free.

On the third day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the fourth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the fifth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the sixth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the seventh day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s completely message free. (oops)

On the eighth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
eight requests to update my account
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox with lots of spam to see.

On the ninth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
nine content filters
eight requests to update my account
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the tenth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
ten loan offers
nine content filters
eight requests to update my account
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
eleven blacklist entries
ten loan offers
nine content filters
eight requests to update my account
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s mostly spam free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my admin gave to me,
twelve quarantined messages…
eleven blacklist entries
ten loan offers
nine content filters
eight requests to update my account
seven phishing site databases
six Nigerian money scams
five Bayesian filters…
four fake friend requests
three DNS blacklists
two herbal viagra ads,
and a mailbox that’s completely spam free.

On behalf of all of us at AllSpammedUp.com, we wish you a very happy holiday season, and healthy and prosperous New Year. I don’t know what new spams 2012 will bring us, but I expect to see some of them predicting the end of the world and offering to share the secrets of the Mayans. Until then, keep laughing!

Written by Casper Manes

I currently work as a Senior Messaging Consultant for one of the premier consulting firms in the world, I cut my teeth on Exchange 5.0, and have worked with every version of Microsoft’s awesome email package since then, as well as MHS, Sendmail, and MailEnable systems. I've written dozens of articles on behalf of my past employers, their partners, and others, and I finally decided to embrace blogging and social media, so please follow me on Twitter @caspermanes if you enjoy my posts.

0 Comments

  1. Kevin Burkett · December 29, 2011

    Sounds like a new account on the first day of Christmas, and then it sounds like it took 11 days to deploy a halfway-decent filter!

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